


Clint and Thor Are On The Hunt

by rocks_have_feelings



Series: Peter Didn’t Tell Us [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Best Uncles, Gen, Scaring Target Workers, Short Add On Piece, baby shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 23:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19306222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocks_have_feelings/pseuds/rocks_have_feelings
Summary: Basically I wrote a story about Peter going into labor and halfway through Pepper decides that Thor and Clint should go buy baby supplies.This is the fic following what they got up to during their trip to Target.





	Clint and Thor Are On The Hunt

Once the door was shut Thor just stared at Clint for a long time, his brow was furrowed and his head was cocked. 

Clint looked up at him, confusion clear in his eyes. “Uhh, what’s going on? I kinda zoned out, can’t listen to the kid cry.” He shook his head and sighed. 

Thor nodded approvingly, he had learned over the years that large Midgardians were not very receptive to small Midgardians in pain. Thor was coming to understand them in that aspect, he too did not enjoy the crying of one of them, it was distressing and hurt his ears. 

“The man of iron’s lady Midgardian decided we will be the ones to go get supplies for the tiny Midgardian. Upon my discouragement for me not knowing what that entitles she said that you would know what to do.” 

Clint nodded, his arms still crossed. “Yeah I know what that means, let’s go.” 

The two headed down the hallway bypassing Steve who was mumbling to himself around the corner, Clint had wanted to ask what was wrong with him when Thor had grabbed his arm and claimed he was “migrating from the task at hand”. So he picked up the pace and followed Thor to the elevator. 

When the two existed Stark Tower it was a game of figuring out where the nearest Target was, Clint hadn’t been in one for a while and Thor had absolutely no idea why it was called Target in the first place. 

Seeing Thor’s face as they entered Target was brilliant, he looked truly amazed. 

“I never get tired seeing Midgardian stores, they are always so fascinating.” He gave Clint a bright smile, one the other man didn’t even bother to copy back. 

“Let’s just get in and get out. I don’t wanna be stuck here forever.” Was all he said. 

The two of them wandered around the store on the search for the baby section, and they were failing miserably. 

“I do not understand, why don’t you use your hawk abilities.” 

Clint’s eyebrows furrowed and his lip curled up, “what?”

Thor chuckled, “it’s a joke. Hawkeye. Hawk’s have keen eyesight.”

Clint did nothing but roll his eyes, “my god, it couldn’t get worse…” 

“Is that you Mr. Barton?”

Clint’s body seized up and he froze, sadly Thor didn’t seem the least bit alarmed because he quickly turned and smiled brightly. 

“Aunt May, the young spider boy has talked so much about you! I recognized you from a picture I saw.” Thor was smiling brightly, proud of himself for making the connection between Peter’s aunt and the woman in front of him. 

Clint looked between May’s confused expression and Thor who saw absolutely nothing wrong with what he said. “Yes, it is me. I didn’t expect to meet you in Target if I have to be honest. Peter has talked about you and showed us some pictures so we recognized you.” He was trying to save Thor from looking absolutely insane and blowing Peter’s cover to his aunt. 

She smiled and nodded, “speaking of Peter, have you seen him? He stays with me over the weekends now so it’s strange I haven’t heard from him yet.” 

Clint was still waking up, it was probably only like 6 or 7 at this point, he was not ready for a protective aunt interrogation. He only nodded and shrugged, “saw him back at Tony’s place, he should be around some time, not really sure when.” He gave a tight smile. 

Thor nodded, “yes, he is at Tower for Stark and perfectly fine, he is in no type of pain and he will not have anything to tell you about.” 

May’s eyes widened and she looked back to Clint in worry, “is something wrong with Peter-? Should I-”

Clint quickly shook his head, his hands coming up to wave away the assumption. “No, no, no, no- he’s perfectly alright. This lug here is still high from the dentist, got his wisdom teeth out.” 

May slowly nodded, her eyes assessing Thor to check for herself if this was factual or false. She seemed to have believed him because she looked back to Clint and nodded, “will you let me know if something’s wrong?” 

Clint smiled to relax her nerves, “of course.” 

She breathed out a sigh and smiled, “thanks, oh and I heard you asking where the baby section is. It’s right down that aisle to the left. You got a kid on the way?” 

Clint clamped up and his face burned red, “uh kinda, my uh sister’s, promised I’d buy her some stuff.” 

May nodded and smiled, walking away from the two Avengers. 

Clint breathed out a sigh and let his body relax, “damn that was close.” 

Thor was still smiling delightedly, “well I think that was stupendous, will we talk to aunt of the spiders later perhaps?”

Clint rapidly shook his head and his arms came up to signal the slow down motion. “No way, we just got outta this one, we can’t let her figure out about Peter and the baby before he tells her.”

Thor nodded and smiled, “of course, we will be stealthy and she will not suspect a thing.”

Clint groaned, “let’s just go get the baby supplies”

The men headed through the aisles, one of them getting distracted by pretty much everything, while the other continuously yelled at him. 

“We made it” was the only thing Clint could think to blurt out when he saw the crib display with all the baby toys and bottles and basically everything. It was like a years long journey, and Clint had finally succeeded in finding the treasure. 

“Help me pick out some stuff” he motioned the broad man to follow him as they scavenged the aisle. For the most part it was fairly easy, don’t buy anything for 3+ which sucks because some of those toys looked fun. But apparently they weren’t for newborns so the two stayed clear of them. 

“We should’ve brought a cart…” Clint was looking around to see if he could nab anyone’s unused cart and then he found it. The cart looked abandoned with only one dvd inside of it. “Thor, take that cart.”

The blonde nodded and walked over to then pick up the entire cart and carry it back over. He looked pleased with himself for helping out and Clint wasn’t about to ruin it by saying you’re supposed to push them, not pick them up. 

“HEY!” 

Clint jumped into action to slide the dvd under one of the shelving units and then grab as much baby stuff as he could. He dumped all of it into the car just in time to see a middle aged woman look him dead in the eye. 

“Have you two seen anyone steal my cart?” She was glaring daggers at the two of them, staring at them as if that’ll get them to crack.

“Nope”

Clint looked back at Thor, terrified he would say the wrong thing and-

“We have not seen your basket pusher.” 

Clint relaxed, it was a weird answer, but it was the right one. 

She didn’t seem to trust them but nonetheless she walked away, leaving them to shop in peace again. 

Clint fished out all the 3+ toys he’d thrown in the car in a hurry and the two moved down the aisle. 

“What kind of witchcraft is this?” Clint was looking a the shelves at all the different types of bottles you could buy, honestly the variety was so not helpful right now. 

Thor didn’t seem to understand his struggle because he picked up the first cup labeled for infants and tossed it into the buggy. 

“Hey, you can’t just grab random cups, and we don’t know the gender, you can’t buy a blue cup it’s gotta be gender neutral shit.”

Thor didn’t seem amused, “color does not matter, Midgardian females love blue and Midgardian males love pink. We shall mix it up so it doesn’t matter.” 

Even if what Thor did went against what he was planning on doing, it wasn’t the worst thing the Asgardian could have done. 

So they went along with buying multicolored blankets and bottles and pacifiers and god you name it and they got it.

And you better believe Clint’s face turned bright red when he had to ask the mother of a four year old that was shopping there which kind of car seat was the best. He felt like the worst dad ever when he completely forgot what brand his kids used when they were little, even if it was reasonable he’d forgotten.

She was helpful and they got one that would apparently shift and change over the years to accommodate the growing kid and Thor thought that was the coolest thing ever. Along with the stroller which, wow the prices were wracking up. 

The blonde was determined that he wanted to try out the stroller for himself to see if it would be able to support Peter’s child. 

The only issue was, the baby isn’t the size of a giant Asgardian. So when he attempted to sit in it he ultimately got stuck, Clint who was busy looking at potential cribs hadn’t even noticed what Thor was doing until it was too late. 

He looked over, his eyes wide and his mouth falling open as he started at Thor stuck in a stroller. He didn’t think it was real. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

Thor only shrugged, “I thought it would be a kind gesture to show the new Midgardian that the stroller for them would be 100% safe to stroller in.”

Clint was flabbergasted, his brain not processing anything. He found himself laughing, his head pounding and his stomach hurting as he laughed. There was no way that he couldn’t laugh at this. 

“Holy shit, this needs to be remembered forever.” 

He took out his phone and despite Thor’s protest he snapped a picture. 

“Hey, you did that to yourself.”

Thor frowned and tried to move, ultimately doing nothing, when he moved again he felt his balance shift and then his was toppling over. 

Clint was having the time of his life laughing while Thor pried the stroller from his body. He crawling on the floor before glaring at the stroller, “this isn’t the one for the baby spider” 

Clint just rolled his eyes. 

The two finished their shopping, complete with Thor freaking out a few more workers when he said that their strollers wouldn’t be able to withstand an attack. 

Clint pulled him away before he could say anything worse.

Thor had insisted on carrying the majority of the bags, deciding that this was his way of helping and Clint wasn’t going to argue because currently he had a crib on his back and was pushing a stroller with a car seat on top of that. 

He really should have asked to switch with Thor, but there was no way he’d back down now. He was the champion who could carry not only a crib but a stroller and car seat. So what if he’d pass out when they got to Stark Tower? That was fine. 

Upon reentering they noticed Steve had left and the room was relatively quiet.

“He must have had the baby, maybe we should drop this stuff off somewhere el-“

But Thor had already knocked and then yanked the door open, a bright smile on his face as he shouted, “we have made it just in time!”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I’m going to be working on the next and hopefully last fic for this mini series it seems. 
> 
> It will be as many asked for, Wade finding out about Ben. So stay tuned!!


End file.
